Gandhi

I’m not okay, I’m so not okay.

I used to be the girl who smiled all the time, and now...

I don’t know where she went 

and I miss her.

I don’t want to cry anymore 

I just want things to be the way they were,

I want my life back. 

I want to smile 

and laugh

and be optimistic again.

I want to be myself again.

As she sits in a room full of loud drunks...  

                                                                                                 she watches..

You'd think,

she'd remember that this isn't what she wanted for herself

You'd think she'd remember she had a choice

You'd think she'd remember to dump out her red plastic cup 

You'd think she'd remember to respect herself 

What happened?

She keeps forgetting to breathe 
She keeps forgetting that god gave her a second chance.
She keeps forgetting the most important
She keeps forgetting to remember.

Who is this girl? 

When will she completely own herself again?

Is it even worth the try?

This girl has been to hell and back .
And she might have 100 reasons to quit it.
But she has 101 reasons to keep fighting for it.




And tonight is not the last time she'll see the light.

50/50

Life is all about decisions we make. 

In every action we make. 

every move we take.

The right decision

The wrong decision

Good, Bad

Left or Right

Up or down

Love or Hate

There are so many decisions in life and we are so good at constantly making them that we don't actually realize the things actually going on up there in our minds. I believe that Decisions and Choices are very much alike. In one way or another they are the same thing. Right?

I know people who are so positive about every action they take. And they are so confident and content with their life. Every trial they go through is just like a positive lesson. They aren't afraid. They don't show it at least. Its like they take the bull by the horns like its no big deal. 

I also know some people who aren't very positive about their life and i can see the difference in their life when they are having hard times. 

To me you have a choice about life..  you can either be positive about it and learn from your mistakes. or you can be a bum and get nothing out of the lessons your being put through. God doesn't put you though a situation he knows you can't handle. If we take life for granted we are going to miss out on so much. You gotta know what you got in life and be grateful for the small things! Smile and love as many people as you can. be smart in the decisions you make and do it for yourself.. don't do it out of someone elses eyes.

One word

Shy /SHi/;;
adjective: Having or showing nervousness in the company of other people.

"The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid" - lady bird Johnson

Whenever im around you i get this tingly feeling in my belly

That feeling you gave me was nothing like I've ever felt before.

I dont quite know what to do with myself.

Something about you..

Its like you know what my weakness is

It makes me nervous.

You got me lost for words.

And all i can do is think about you.

You've constantly been on my mind

You probably will never know

How you made me feel that night.

And i kinda wish you did...

Maybe you feel the same way about me?

But I doubt it.

So while you go on with your life

Ill be here... thinking about you. 

Blending in with everyone else 

And how i only wish you knew how i felt about you

<3

Direct Orders!

You have been given a direct order to rock the F** out! 

Rock out like you've just been free from house arrest and your no longer stuck in your small cramped up house.

Rock out like you'll never have to wake up @ 6:00 am ever again. 

Rock out like you've just woken up from a terrible dream and you realize its Christmas Morning!

Rock out like you just set that house on fire and you just smoked your first bowl of weed.

Rock out like you've just escaped a concentration camp and the lake next door is screaming "SKINNY DIPPING"

Rock out like your gods gift to this earth

Rock out like your $500 dollar prom dress is on sale for $50 bucks

Rock out like its 1980

Rock out like your gonna die tomorrow

Rock out like its all over

Life or Death?

What is Death? 

is it the end of someone?

Or the beginning of something amazing?

For most, Death occurs unexpectedly. 

You close your eyes because it feels like a small dream.

Count to ten, expecting everything to go back to the way it was.

Open your eyes... Boom. Reality hits.

It isn't a Dream, Nor a joke. 

But simply a wake-up call. A reminder.

To not take life for granted.

You honestly don't know what you have until its gone.

It's the way of life.

It's not easy.

It's quite tough actually.

But what do we have to compare it to?

Everyone has a past, a story that never wants to be told.

Why does everyone seem to wanna speed through life?

Stop and take a look, take a deep breath.

Take the time to do the small things.

Like say I love you.

Smile.

You never know what kind of a day someone is having

Take the time to get to know someone.

Be a friend

And take life day by day

apreciate the little things

you never know who's gonna be gone tomorrow who was here today. 

So.. what is death?

is it the end of something?

or the beginning of something surreal?

You. Tell. Me. <3

Boulevard of broken dreams

I walk alone I walk alone. 

In these crowded hallways full of faceless people. 

Get into the out dated, no license plated ride rolling on E and cruise. 

Driving down a nameless road, Going to a place a I can barely remember. Surrounded by abandoned houses and unfinished half built buildings. 

The car doesn't make it much farther and I get out to walk. I see a house I've never seen before but it brings back the memories I tried to forget. Into the house I walk alone. Trying to recover the memories I never wanted to remember, I recognize a chair. 

The one we use to sit on and watch our old time favorite movies. Yeah that chair. 

Down the hall I see a door barely open, i walk in and see nothing but a beat-up dresser. i open the drawer and in it is a letter 

"You were all i ever had, all i ever wanted, all i ever needed. 'I should've been a better man. Instead of wasting time spending my life searching for the finer things. You always gave me another chance to make it right. But I didn't deserve, cause I didn't understand. You can blame it all on me. I know it’s like this because of me. Now I’m just like a hitchhiker waiting for a ride. With no cars in sight.' I should of never let you go. I walk alone."

I walk alone. I walk alone. With tears running down my cheek i leave this place. On the road back to nowhere i turn around and look back on the life i tried to forget. My dreams. My ambitions are buried in this hell hole. 

I turn around and keep walking.

 

Im thinking about you..

I'm thinking about you.
I'm thinking about you like time thinks about t.i.c.k.i.n.g.
like fingers think about picking
like guests think about $tipping$


I'm thinking about you like earphones think about ears and ears think about listening..to music, and music thinks about lyrics and lyrics think about rhythms.

I'm thinking about you like birds think about flying. 
Like rich people think about dining.
and poor people think about dining. 

I'm thinking about you like peanut thinks about butter and butter thinks about jelly.
Like socks think about being smelly 
Like buddah thinks about his belly 

Im thinking about you like eyes think about eyelashes
like waves think about splashes 
like poses think about flashes 

I'm thinking about you like hearts think about beating 
And she thinks about meeting...Him. 

I'm thinking about how much i CANT stop thinking about you.